So I’m officially off the wagon. I wouldn’t say “fallen”. Maybe gently stepped down. We’ll see how this goes. I know it’s really easy for people to fall into the same old situations time after time.
I seem to recall panicking at the thought of not being able to have a drink just around the corner. If I went on business trips, I would note all the closest bars or convenience stores near the hotel as soon as I was there…sometimes before. On Saturday morning I would wake up and drink a couple cups of coffee, but then switch immediately to beer even before noon sometimes. We would panic if we didn’t have a full case of beer in the fridge at all times. It also helped to have a little backup liquor.
I never drove drunk. But since I was always drunk, that meant I never drove. Hence, I never went anywhere….except to the bars that were within walking distance, of course.
But even after all the kinds of mess I was…I still want to have just a little piece of who I was…Can I do it?
I suppose we all have to inevitably tell ourselves at some point in our lives, “It’s going to be different this time.”
