choke on that causality

I remember when I was younger thinking, why the hell can’t they make a vending machine that actually takes bills…you know what I’m talking about. The fact that you had to uncrease and manipulate the bill by see-sawing on the side of the machine and it still wouldn’t fucking take it. Combine that with never knowing what direction you are supposed to put it in because the picture is worn off….Well somewhow I missed it. Because most vending machines I use lately (only the ones at work really) take bills really easily, and you can put it any which way you want to….hehe. Just one of those things I noticed today. I need to stop taking the little things for granted.

It’s beautiful out today. I swear reading on weather.com that it was supposed to thunderstorm and shit. Maybe I dreamt all that. It was pretty early in the morning.

I took the pups for a crazy long walk today and they still aren’t worn out. As I’m typing this outside on the deck steps, they are snarling and wrestling behind me. Damn you Caesar Milan and your advice that doesn’t seem to work. My friend Andrew would agree with me.

Wow there was just an ant on my keyboard. I’m not a fan of bugs. I need to make a mental note (or a blog note I suppose) to find a pet friendly bug deterrent for around the house-I wonder if one exists. And don’t tell me to use cayenne pepper cause that doesn’t work.

So I’ve been chatting on gay.com a lot lately. I know it’s kinda strange…I hadn’t done it in years…but I guess I’ve had this urge to feel somewhat attractive. Sidebar-I recently lost about 20-25 pounds in like the Nov-Feb range, and have been doing pilates and yoga and trying to be more active. But all the guys that talk to me on gay.com are scary. And they say shit like “What are you into?”. And I just want to type “Uh, not talking to creeps like you.” I did put a couple of pictures up…there have been a couple of occasions where I will mention to someone that uh…no pic…and they say I’ll send you one through email. Keep in mind that I use my play email account for moments like these…but then I get pics of guys spreading their assholes and cocks galore…..NNNNNOooooootttt what I had in mind. p.s. I won’t post them here…cause that would just be weird.

Speaking of weird. I’ve went out in Lima, OH a couple of times recently. There is some hot mess of a gay bar there. But I’ve actually had a lot of fun on the occasions that we’ve went. I’ve recently re-connected with an old friend, and I’ve went with him…so that probably has something to do with it. That and the self-esteem booster that comes with guys hitting on me.

I don’t really know how a innocent post turned into me being a big dick tease online and at the bar…but ah well. Just being honest. I think my readers would respect that

It’s always strange to me when I hear people talking about church. Someone down the hall has a prayer posted on the outside of their cubicle. I guess that’s alright. But I think it would be more appropriate to have that inside your cube. I dunno. That stuff gives me the willys. Starts making me feel like people are crazy pod people or some shit like that. Or maybe it just reminds me how different I am from other people.

Anyhow, I keep having these dreams about seeing people I know while vacationing in Vegas. Weird huh. It’s funny that in my dreams I have to go all the way to Vegas to see old friends who either live in the same town as me or at most about 2 hours away. I should be a better friend.

I can’t remember if I told this story. But the other day (to me the phrase “the other day” can mean months) I was talking to Mike in the car while he was taking me to work in the morning. And I mentioned something about my friend Carrie being pregnant. And was all like…wha? And I said, you knew that! And then he just accepted it, like Oh yeah. I must have been too drunk to remember being told that…yeah. So we continued to talk, and all of a sudden it dawned on me. You do know which Carrie I’m talking about right. My old friend Carrie, not the one we used to work with. Ha. If you knew the Cari we used to work with, you would see why it was sooo funny. But anyhow, isn’t it awesome that all I had to do to get him to accept this information was say…”I told you that. Don’t you remember?” Ha. Note that this probably won’t work anymore now that we’re no longer big drunks. But it was a funny moment anyhow.

Last night I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline camped out in my parents garage, and we couldn’t get them to leave. And I took pictures of us together to prove to people that I met Britney. But no one believed me.

Hmm…the word “dreamt” really threw off my spell checker. I looked it up. It is a word. Imagine having used the word “dreamed”. Ha.

Isn’t it funny when you hear people whispering at work? It just makes me want to listen in even more than usual. Silly coworkers.

I feel guilty for not being able to finish watching An Inconvenient Truth - I’m sure it was good, I just have a somewhat limited attention span. But anyhow, I’m doing my part…check this out. Top 50 Things To Do To Stop Global Warming. A lot of these things you don’t think about. I never used to recycle, but it’s actually pretty easy. Especially if you have your own Mike to do most of the work while I sit back and blog about it. (Let’s see if he reads these)

I spent forever yesterday trying to figure out how to get a good picture gallery up and running. As you can see…still not there. Ah well. I’ll get it. Last night I kept having dreams that I had to pee or I was peeing. Thank god I wasn’t really peeing. Shut up. Like you’ve never been that drunk. I watched that episode of Ellen with T.R. Knight where he talked about being called a “faggot”. I really felt for him. He didn’t really know what to say. Ellen handled it well. I’ve never watched Grey’s Anatomy…but Mike loves it.

I have had this damn song stuck in my head for the past two days. Patrick Swayze…yuck.

I’ve also been having strange dreams about working at Food Town as a bagger. I don’t think Food Town exists anymore. Last night I got fed up and quit. It was all dramatic