I’m in a really bad funk today, and I can’t seem to pull out of it. This morning, I was off of work, and I decided that I wanted Mike to call around looking for our new puppy that I want for my birthday. He made some calls, but nobody had quite the one we were looking for….but he refused to call anyone else after that, and we got into a big fight and he said he doesn’t want to get another dog now. What the fuck…
I’m destroyed at the moment. I know it seems silly. But I am.
You have to admit; they are really fucking cute!
I’ve been doing yoga and pilates again lately. I’ve also been doing some of the random exercise on demand routines. I never realized that those were even there until my friend Ashley mentioned it. It’s kinda cool cause a lot of them are only ten minutes so you can do them real quick in the morning or whatever. So don’t ever let anyone tell you that yoga and pilates are for wusses…that shit is hard. I can only do about 25 minutes of yoga before I want to just lay down.
I’ve been doing pretty good. I’m proud of myself. Now I’m looking forward to the warmer weather, and I’d like to start jogging again. Heheh. I say that like I did it so often before. Truth is we did it like maybe 10 times, and it fucked up my knees…so I could barely walk without making old man type noises.
Oh and tennis. I’m looking forward to that too. I really really suck at it, but I love it for some reason. If you like tennis, please look me up come summer 
So why do people diet and exercise anyhow? I know that most people say that they want to be healthy, or it gives them energy, or my favorite excuse is wanting to fit into my clothes again…although that was true at the time. Now I think I just got a taste of those sexy defined lines you get around your hips. Yeah I like that. Don’t get me wrong. I probably saw that definition at a strange angle in awkward lighting, and a magnifying glass….but that’s not the point. It’s that they are there…and now I have something to work for.
Wow I managed to turn a nice health related post into a rather egotistical one. Ah well. If you don’t like it then you can just bite me.
I always have to have something to be occupied with at any given moment. That doesn’t really sound like anything out of the ordinary. So I guess it is more of a little obsession here and there. Like I’ll be consumed with some life goal like quitting drinking, or starting drinking, or buying a house, or losing weight, or saving money, or exercising (not obsessed enough). Probably some smaller obsessions like video games, painting, decoupage, blogging, music, ubuntu, technology, movies, tv, pets…
Isn’t it funny how we must occupy ourselves with some task, goal, or distraction at all times? Mike always asks…So if you do this thing…then will you be happy? it’s not like I’m not happy….maybe I’m just trying to keep from being bored.
So Mike randomly got his ear pierced the other night when we went to the mall, like up on the top cartilage part. He got it done at Claire’s of all places. You know that hideously pink and purple pre-teen girl jewelry type store. Awesome. It actually looks alright. I tried to post a picture to my flickr, but it wasn’t working for some reason. Guess you’ll have to check back later.
Talula got spayed today. I hope she isn’t too mad at me. After having to confine her in the back bedroom for a month because she had ringworm….she doesn’t need any more stress. I think she’s still a bit cranky about all that. She’s been less and less cuddly. Ah well. I still love her. I hope she recovers smoothly. She is probably going to look really funny with a shaved belly. I can’t pick her up until tomorrow, So Makalu of course will be all like, “That’s right…This is my house, betches!”
So I’m officially off the wagon. I wouldn’t say “fallen”. Maybe gently stepped down. We’ll see how this goes. I know it’s really easy for people to fall into the same old situations time after time.
I seem to recall panicking at the thought of not being able to have a drink just around the corner. If I went on business trips, I would note all the closest bars or convenience stores near the hotel as soon as I was there…sometimes before. On Saturday morning I would wake up and drink a couple cups of coffee, but then switch immediately to beer even before noon sometimes. We would panic if we didn’t have a full case of beer in the fridge at all times. It also helped to have a little backup liquor.
I never drove drunk. But since I was always drunk, that meant I never drove. Hence, I never went anywhere….except to the bars that were within walking distance, of course.
But even after all the kinds of mess I was…I still want to have just a little piece of who I was…Can I do it?
I suppose we all have to inevitably tell ourselves at some point in our lives, “It’s going to be different this time.”
I don’t really have much to blog about. My life hasn’t been that exciting. I guess we did decide to go ahead and buy that lcd tv. That’s news right. It’s pretty cool, and we moved the other tv into the bedroom, which is convenient. I guess I’m going to have to learn the whole HD thing and how to get that all set up.
I’ve been thinking about whether or not I should start drinking again. I know that’s a taboo subject or whatever…like I’m falling off the wagon. And I’ll tell myself it’ll be different this time or whatever. But I’ve been analyzing the reasons I quit, and my behavior in the past, and my will power over the last year… I haven’t made any definite decisions one way or the other. I’ve just been thinking. I used to enjoy drinking. I know…a little too much. But I may not have quit for the right reasons. That sounds silly. Like does any reason have to be ‘right’ to quit drinking. Like it’s a big loss…especially health wise, but it was just a little too easy to blame all my problems on alcohol. I don’t think this is a peer pressure type of situation…I mean it’s true that it’s came to mind because I’ve been around others drinking recently. And I miss that feeling of bonding, loosened boundaries, and just making me less uptight and more inclined to have a good time that all comes with having some drinks. Jeez all that sounds stupid. I guess I have some thinking to do.
