choke on that causality

Ugh. I thought I was a god damn adult. Do adults randomly log into their bank accounts to check their balances and see that they have $8.27? Thank chebus I didn’t decide to stop and get gas…So now I’m pretty much broke for a week. Awesome. I need to start being more responsible.

I’ve been such a hermit lately. The other day I got that feeling that I was that guy….ya know the one who’s a big ol’ hot drunken mess and embarrassing himself in front of all his friends. Probably a typical Friday night with me, right..

Work has sucked. I’m starting to just feel like no one understands me. I’m really struggling between making myself marketable and actually striving to do what I enjoy…Maybe I’m just good at tasks I don’t enjoy, and don’t realize it. (Or maybe just better than other people…..) But maybe I need a change. I’m just going to try to remind those of my real skills and interests at every given opportunity. Or do I already do that? Fuck. I’m screwed.

I just got home from giving the puppies a walk. It is so freakin hot and humid out there. And it’s not really even as bad as it has been. It’s been 90s and 90% humidity for a few days now…and today it was a little more breatheable. 80’s and 50-60% humidity. Every time I start bitching about the hot weather…I have to remind myself that it is MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER than freezing cold snowy winter here in Ohio. Ugh. fuck that. So I’ll live through the heat…if just so I can bitch all winter long and then some.

I know I haven’t been blogging at all lately. I’m not sure what is wrong with me. That is probably why I’ve been kinda cranky lately…cause I haven’t gotten my usual release through blogging.

Work has been really busy for me. I’m still not thrilled about some of the roles I get put into for some projects. I think I’m just not cut out to be a project manager. Give me something to develop or get technical with already! I didn’t study computer science for 6 years to use Microsoft Project and fucking Excel! Come on.

Sometimes it seems like my life is consumed with shit…The dogs, the cats, the guinea pigs. I dunno. Maybe I’m just having one of those days.

It’s freaking hot and humid today in Northwest Ohio. It stormed earlier today, and I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. So I didn’t…I got up around 1 or so.

I’m about half done mowing the lawn, and about half done with laundry. I don’t feel like doing much else.

I’ve decided to take a bit of a breather from going out. It has been hard to turn down friends. But I’m in a place where I need to just sit back and give some thought to my life and who I am. The path I’ve been on…and the path I’d like to be on…

Work has been busy lately. It seems like we’ve lost a lot of good talent in our department. I’ve taken on a lot of support for various applications, but it’s not so bad. I just don’t like that feeling of juggling and constantly having to shift gears and never knowing when I’m going to have time to catch up… I’ve been mentoring my first co-op over this summer. He’s been doing a pretty good job with the limited attention I’ve been able to give him. It reminds me of my previous job, and getting to work more closely with others. It’s a good feeling being able to help others develop their potential. Perhaps I should have been a teacher.

Well back to mowing and laundry I suppose.

Yesterday I saw someone at work who still had the size sticker on their brand new pair of pants. Hilarious. I didn’t know him though…so I just stared and laughed instead of telling him.

At work when people are Out of the Office for one reason or another, we send all day free meeting notices to each other so other people know you will gone. I just think it is funny cause I always used to just get ones with the subject “OOO”. Don’t know why that has always struck me as funny. I often get ones for “Therapy”. What is the first think you think of when you see that word…I know it is physical therapy…but I always picture a shrink.

So I have a poison ivy rash on my knees and arms from weeding and mulching the other day I assume. It sucks. An no, it isn’t contagious like a lot of people think. You only get it where the plant oil touched your skin. The oil is long gone now…I’m just itchy.

Last night I laid down for what I thought was going to be a disco nap, but it turned into an all-nighter. I must have been really tired.

I guess not much has been going on in my world lately. I moved to a cubicle next to a window recently at work. I feel special. Oh and I got an award for doing a good job externalizing an application server. A $50 gas card. I thought that was cool.

Sammy and KC are as annoying as ever. Love em to death…but it is getting harder and harder to walk them. I bought a new leash that has a rubber grip on it, so my hand no longer gets burned…but it is still a huge workout to walk them. I’m thinking about taking them both to obedience classes. Sammy is on some medication now to get rid of his parasites. Hopefully he’ll get a clean test here in another couple of weeks. If he stops eating dirt and licking water off the deck that is…

I’m trying to patch up some missing grass areas outside. But now I have a feeling that wherever Sammy has chosen to pee now will be the new bare spots.

I hate it when people don’t know when to shut the hell up. Sometimes people will either stop in to my office, or stop me in the hallway and start talking to me about something….and just go on and on and on bitching and complaining about something. I realize that everyone needs a little healthy bitch time…but if I’m inching away from you…just let me go. When it comes to work, I want people to get to the point, and go about their business. I have other shit to do!

There are also those other people who aren’t even talking to me but their voice carries all the way down the hall to irritate the shit out me. And it isn’t even once in a while. It is all the fucking time. Shut up!